Posts by out of the box

33

Relationship??

by penton in

after meeting a wonderful fella who also is jw.

i've never felt this way about anyone before in my life.

the only thing is i don't know if its possible for us to have a stable relationship, as i am r.c, not actually i'm irish roman catholic which is a little bit "stricter".

I was trying to ask how long you knew this young man and how long you were dating him before you realized to ask if this was a good thing. And someone asked if you had done the 'dirty deed' with him yet. I was trying to get you to see this as an observer and not respond from insde the 'stary glare' that young lovers can have.

I am so happy that you are willing to 'slow down' and think. That tells me that you are intelligent and there is hope for you after all! ha ha! No one has the right to tell you what to do, but the fact that you asked for advice, and then picked the hardest ones given to try, and are willing to do something constructive and be cautious means that you do have some love & respect for yourself and you will take better care of your own feelings and life as you grow older, you are learning well. If you wait until that confidence grows and you KNOW WHO YOU are, then and only then will you find the RIGHT mate that shares your ideals. Don't settle for one that wants a 'dutiful' wife! Find one who wants a partner and mate with plenty of love & respect to last. A husband should love and respect you as much as you love and respect yourself. Wait for Mr. Right, don't take "Mr. Right now"! You deserve the best!

out of the box

23

Yet another "My Story"

by mapleaf18 in

my story: and i apologize in advance for the long post.. i was born to special pio parents and i attended my first meeting when i was 6 days old, which was unusual in the 50s and 60s because babies were usually quarantined for the first month or so.

my mother had a poor childhood and was often placed with uncaring relatives which served as foster homes.

my father was raised in a single parent home by his divorced mother who was looking for answers.

out of the box

mapleleaf,

Please do continue, I want to hear more! Child Abuse is a new term and the law didn't recognize this until recently. Aren't we 'lucky' to be living in a time when 'human rights' are a bit more in the forefront? There is lots to read out there and places on the internet to research to support our personal growth. And this board is a great place to vent and read others' stories to see similar situations. When we are free of the borg we can research anything we want to know about!

My point is that we DO NOT take ANY BLAME ffor being victims! We were around immature people who could not handle their own lives and didn't know what to DO with us! Children are NOT small adults! They NEED guidance to learn HOW to behave and what to do with their lives to be productive and learn how to stand on their own!

Bad parents like mine, raised me to obey 'them' and to copy 'them' because I became a sort of slave for them. The manners they beat into, or taught me were personal preference type statements like; 'I hate that, don't do that' or 'shut up' or 'leave me alone'. They brought me up to 'stay out of their way' or to not embarass them. This is such a waste of precious time! Then when my mom grew old, she wondered why I was not a daughter that did things for her or even visit them or better yet, why I wasn't rich and taking care of her! I hoped some day they would finally realize that the world did not revolve around them after all! Oh well, it was a nice thought, huh?

When I studied for my US citizenship I read the 'Bill of Rights'. This made me have the courage to use the words 'I have the right' for this or that. I will make a statement here that uses these words... By the fact that we were born, we have the God-given right to live and to be here on this earth, and don't let anyone EVER tell you any different! We 'belong' to the family of the human race. Your story motivated me and made me want to stand up and speak up for you and with you! Thank you and please write more!

out of the box

34

My story - part One.

by diamondblue1974 in

i have never posted my story on jwd and it was only recently that it occured to me that i should really make more of an effort to; here is the first part....sorry if its longwinded.... .

i was brought up in the borg from the age of 18 months old and as you can understand i have known little else.

previous to being in the truth my mother was an unwanted child and beaten by her mother, sure enough she fell into an abusive relationship with my father which left her with minus zero confidence and on the verge of a nervous breakdown; apparently my mum was considering throwing us both off a railway bridge she was that depressed and to her there was no point in living.

out of the box

Yes, hummmm all those beatings! A lot of former generations grew up this way unfortunately, I was not spared either. Lets stop it at our generation! And running away... there is more of hours of discussion on that one! Glad you guys are all HERE! Diamondblue, glad to hear your story. I look forward to reading more! I share some of the experiences I have read on this board and it is amazing that we found each other to share! I am moved...!

out of the box

14

Here I am again... what posting here has done for me!

by out of the box in

i have posted a few subjects here and am new.

i have received a lot of support here and encouragement to post.

it has affected me in ways i didn't think possible.

out of the box

Carmel,

What have you found in this minority religion that satisfies the soul? What was it you were looking for? What do they lack if anything by way of spiritual food or fellowship?

Hope you don't mind my asking, I am curious.

out of the box

34

My story - part One.

by diamondblue1974 in

i have never posted my story on jwd and it was only recently that it occured to me that i should really make more of an effort to; here is the first part....sorry if its longwinded.... .

i was brought up in the borg from the age of 18 months old and as you can understand i have known little else.

previous to being in the truth my mother was an unwanted child and beaten by her mother, sure enough she fell into an abusive relationship with my father which left her with minus zero confidence and on the verge of a nervous breakdown; apparently my mum was considering throwing us both off a railway bridge she was that depressed and to her there was no point in living.

out of the box

Diamondblue1974,

I read your story and felt sad along with you. I can't believe how unparenting that JWs are. I was not like this with my kids the 9 years I was in JWs and for that I was considered easy and not a disiplinarian. Good, at least my kids love me now!

I can't imagine NOT listening to my son! I don't know how a mother can turn a deaf ear to her offspring! Only brainwashing could have turned off her instincts. Don't judge her too harshly, she doesn't know any better due to the circumstances she had. Just make sure that the gal you are about to marry IS a GOOD MOM type! She will be able to heal that missing part in your heart. I think watching your babies being born and a good mom showing love and sharing is quite a healing experience for someone who went without. As in the movie with Tom Cruise says 'you complete me'! With a good loving wife and daughter(s) you can learn to trust and heal your feelings with women. I am not saying you have a problem, but it can help ease the acceptance phase of it.

My dear husband is such a good male role model for me, and so were my sons, they healed the missing dad I missed out on growing up. This reinforced and supported my trust in men again.

I am so glad you are not in that situation any longer! Isn't it funny how you grew up accross the ocean from some of us over here, and yet the feelings are the same? JWs missed the boat on being the best religion if they had left 'controling' out of it. If they had allowed people to just plain old LOVE, and they could have trusted in God to keep the people safe and near with love. It's so clear to me that love binds people, so why not GO WITH IT and BE HAPPY? I don't remember any scriptures that were against love & happiness! Do you? I look forward to reading more of your story! Thank you for sharing!

out of the box

28

Your scariest or funniest 'out in service' stories!

by out of the box in

here goes my stories: .

she looked up at all those stairs to the third floor!

she said she would do the first floor.

out of the box

loosie, I think you are right, and they didn't last much longer than me in the 'troof' as it has been called here. Wife & child beaters and work avoiders I called them as I saw them!

out of the box

31

One of the 144,000

by out of the box in

i wanted to share this story.. we were (many years ago) going out in service.

i was in the car with annointed one driving, his wife and the person who had 'brought me into the faith' and my daughter.

we went through an intersection where this old man (annointed one) was not paying attention.

out of the box

Wasanelderonce,

I am not an expert on this matter, but your unfortunate loss came at a time when your mind will call up the past! In our 40's we start to relive our mistakes, things pop up like past abuses, things hidden in our subconscience. The good part is, once it comes out, it is not inside making you sick any more, and the peace aftewards means you have 'let it go'!

When my 87 yr old friend was dying, she was hanging on and on till she was barely here. I hated watching that, and it happened to a friend of mine whom I watched dying of aides. The problem, I did not say 'good bye' I did not tell them it was OK for them to die, and that I am letting them go. A doctor and nurse told me to do that. Both were dead by morning with peace, I did not need to relive their leaving me.

Death has such mystery and the way your mother went was without resolution, the worst to feel. I am glad you were able to finally let her go. My mother died when I was not there, and it took me a while before I just broke out one day and cried real hard and let her go. I had no idea I needed to do that. AND it does NOT mean you don't love her still, or need her still. It just means you accept that it has happened. I wish you more and more peace as time goes by!

out of the box

4

As A JW Who Were You Supposed To Put Your Faith In?

by Honesty in

is this still 'present truth'?

*** w79 3/1 18 faith in jehovah's victorious organization ***.

23 what, then, should be our position today?

out of the box

Honesty, sorry I didn't understand your post.

out of the box

33

Relationship??

by penton in

after meeting a wonderful fella who also is jw.

i've never felt this way about anyone before in my life.

the only thing is i don't know if its possible for us to have a stable relationship, as i am r.c, not actually i'm irish roman catholic which is a little bit "stricter".

out of the box

penton,

I am confused. How old are you? And how old is the JW boy? Here is your first post:

After meeting a wonderful fella who also is JW. I've never felt this way about anyone before in my life. The only thing is i don't know if its possible for us to have a stable relationship

You mention MEETING a fella. Here is your last post where you say you love him:

I suppose I’m thinking straight as I’m upset. I love him or at least I think I do maybe it’s just lusting over someone I can’t have

I am concerned that you are not sure what love is yet. And you are willing to join a CULT to find out? Please rethink, LEARN TO BE STILL and THINK, don't act, don't DO anything, just think for a while. Sorry if I offended you, but this is SERIOUS business like the other posters are sounding the alarms for you!

out of the box

27

A sister spoke to me at breakfast...

by AK - Jeff in

i was eating a sinful double order of biscuits/gravy when this sister i knew came up to my table.

as is usual with witness mentality, not a single word about the family or any other matter, just launched into "hubby and i were out by your house in service, stopped by but no one was home" then she tactlessly mentioned that she had not seen us around the hall for a while.

i told her we were not attending meetings any longer.

out of the box

MidwichCuckoo, thanks for explanation! What about scones? I LOVE them!

In Nova Scotia they call our 'Lunch' Dinner and evening meal, Supper. So, if you are ever in Nova Scotia and asked over to Dinner, don't show up at 4 PM you'll miss it!

AK-Jeff, thanks for the sentiment about my start in this country. I didn't mean to complain. My dad is the reason we had it so tough, he decided to go on an alcoholic binge when we got here and kind of left us in trouble. We survived and built character for us. And we KNEW we really wanted to be here because we NEVER gave up to go back home. The US let us stay and that was a blessing. Imigrants have had it bad over the years, our story was not so bad. But, today... it's so different.

If you sensed a little hostility when I stated that about having to wait so long for help, is because of what I see this country GIVE away now, education, health care, housing! We spent our house down payment on surviving! We qualified for nothing! And, my dad was a US citizen! He never did come back and we made it, at least he got us into the US.

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